When Frustration Leads to Defiance

No one wants to deal with defiant students no matter how young or old they are or the form that the defiance takes. Whenever I conduct workshops to help teachers cope with and support challenging students, the most common concern that I hear is always about students who are defiant and disrespectful. It is a serious discipline concern that we all share.

The toll that student defiance takes on teachers can be harsh. After all, few teachers go home at the end of a successful and productive school day worried about what will happen next class. Even the most stalwart of us find it hard to leave the emotional problems caused by defiant students at school. These tend to be the problems that cause us to sleep poorly and to contemplate changing careers.

One of the most productive ways to stop defiant students from acting out in your classroom is to first determine the cause of the misbehavior instead of blindly reacting just to the incident and its negative effects on the general atmosphere in the classroom itself. When you take the time to do this, several good things happen at once.

You treat the defiant student with respect despite the bad behavior

You send a message to the other students that you will not lose your cool

You preserve the dignity of the misbehaving student

You will be far closer to resolving the situation than if you just reacted to it

The cause of defiance is usually something that the student has been seething about for a while. Given the nature of the modern classroom, there are plenty of opportunities for students to have wounded feelings or a sense of frustration. And it is often  this frustration that causes students to react impulsively and to lash out.

To find the cause, first talk gently to the student who has been defiant. This is best done in private. If you both need a few moments to cool down, then be sure to allow that time. No one can hear even a reasonable explanation when they are stressed and upset.

As you talk, don't be accusatory. Keep your language as factual and dry as possible. Describe what you saw and heard. Then, tell the student that you want to listen carefully to what he or she has to say.

Listen carefully. Ask a tactful question or two. Figure out what caused the incident.

Try not to be preachy. Do not induce guilt. Your relationship with the student has no place in this discussion. Stick to the facts at hand. Determine the cause and act accordingly.

Once you have had this conversation with the student, then you can make the decision about how to proceed. Not every defiant act deserves a harsh consequence. Your innate teacher's judgement will allow you to make the best decision that you can make now that you are informed about the cause.

Been There, Done That...A Bad Teacher Habit

One of the hardest bad teacher habits to break is learning not to repeat yourself when you give whole group directions. Part of the reason that it is so hard to break this habit is that we want to help students. It's simply impossible to refuse a student's request for help. Another reason is that no one has taught students to listen carefully and so repeating the directions several times may help students stay on track.

It’s one thing to clarify information or explain directions; it’s another to have to repeat yourself for students who are not in the habit of listening attentively. Don’t assume that your students are good listeners. Many have never been taught how to listen attentively. It's up to you to help students learn when and how to focus their attention when their teacher is talking to them.

To begin to break this time-consuming and frustrating habit, involve your students in the project. Tell then that you are going to help them with their listening skills and explain how that you want them to listen attentively. No talking. Eyes on you. No rustling papers. Create the procedure that you want for your students to use as they listen to you and take the time to carefully teach it to your students.

Set the stage by moving to an area of the room where all students can see and hear you. Call for attention and wait patiently. Remind students that they will be working on their listening skills and that they are to listen carefully since you do not want to waste class time by having to repeat yourself.

Practice with your students if necessary. Make it a shared endeavor and a pleasant way to work out a classroom problem together. With a bit of effort, this can become a part of the culture of your classroom, and you will find yourself not having to repeat directions or other information endlessly.

The Most Useful Reflection Technique

If you are like so many teachers, reflecting on your own performance seems to come naturally. A  stickie note reminder on a lesson plan, a scribbled note in a margin, or even making an entry in a formal reflection journal are just some of the ways teachers can think about and review their days. Too often, though, especially after a tough day those reflections tend to center around what went wrong.

It's only natural that this should happen. After all, negative events tend to have a stronger emotional impact on us than positive ones. We seldom replay the positive things that happen in class on the way home from school, for example. Instead, we focus on the problems and challenges that we encounter during the school day. It's all too easy to obsess about what went wrong, the irritating things that happened in class, and our subsequent stress.

As helpful as reflecting on what went wrong in class may be, thinking about what went right is even more powerful. Instead of focusing entirely on the "Maybe I should haves" a more productive way to reflect about your performance is to think about what you did well and how you can repeat that success. Here are some questions that can guide your thinking along a more positive path so that you can use your strengths and successes to build a better classroom.

1. When was I flexible enough to notice that something was not working and change it? What was the positive outcome of this action?

2. What worked in today's lesson? How can I use this in the future?

3. When were my students most engaged? What did I do to create that engagement?

4. How did I help students make connections to the material they were studying?

5. What classroom management problem did I handle better today?

6. Which students seemed to have a good day? How can I help them continue this success in the future?

7. What am I most grateful for today?

8. What progress did I make today in becoming the teacher I want to be?

9. How did I help students interact well with each other?

10. What did I do today that I can be proud of?

Two Quick Tips for Successful Conferences

With spring comes warm weather, student restlessness, and the potential for stressful conferences with parents or guardians to discuss problems that may have been simmering all year. Whether the problems are academic, behavioral, or a combination of both, productive conferences can be powerful ways to resolve issues as the academic year moves towards a close.

Here are two simple ways to ensure that the conferences you will have this spring are positive and productive.

1. Never surprise a parent or guardian with unpleasant news during a conference. By the time a face-to-face meeting is necessary, be sure to have made several phone calls home, sent emails, and contacted counselors, administrators, and other appropriate staff support personnel in an attempt to resolve the situations that are keeping students from being successful. Document those efforts and take that documentation with you to the conference to indicate that you have done all that a professional educator should do in advance of a conference. Ideally, a conference should just be the final step in creating a solution.

2. During the conference itself, allow parents or guardians to speak first. Allow them plenty of time to express their concerns and opinions. Listen attentively. Until parents or guardians have had the opportunity to say everything they need to say, then--and only then--can they listen to you or work on a solution. Listening respectfully to the concerns of parents or guardians signals that you are willing to work together with them and that you value their insights.

Is Anybody Listening?

One of the easiest mistakes for any teacher--and especially a first-year teacher--to make is to talk when students are not listening. There are lots of reasons for this, but none of them are good ones. If you are talking and your students are not listening, then nothing productive is happening and you are sending a strong message that what you have to say is not important.

If you only make one small change this month, then make that small change be that you will help your students listen to you when you speak to them. If you want a class to listen to you, catch their attention and then slowly lower the volume of your voice. If you really want to make students pay attention, a dramatic stage whisper works wonders.

Don't Give Up on Challenging Students

At this time of year, it's easy to feel discouraged about the potential success of students who have been challenging since the term began. By this point, you have probably had numerous conferences with administrators, counselors, case managers, parents or guardians, your lunch table companions, and the students themselves. When nothing appears to change, it's only natural to feel discouraged. Weary. Worn out. Frustrated.

Don't give up. All of your students--and especially the challenging ones--deserve the best from you. They need to feel that they can succeed. More important, however, they need to feel that you still believe in them. 

Because challenging students often have years of failure behind them, they expect to be singled out—to be different.  When teachers appear to give up, then the negative self-image that challenging students carry with them is reinforced once again. 

Teacher commitment to the belief that all students are expected to succeed is the bedrock of successfully dealing with challenging students. After all, if their teachers don’t believe in their ability to succeed, who will?

Instead of giving in to your frustration and viewing your students with expectations of looming misbehavior, if you can calmly treat difficult students with the same expectations as other students, they will often rise to the occasion. The self-fulfilling prophecy of their teacher’s acceptance and expectations will make it possible for them to achieve academic and behavioral success.

Brighten Up Your Winter Classroom with Free Posters

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At Print A Poster (https://print-a-poster.com), you can find lots of free posters to brighten your walls and inspire your students. There are lots of categories to choose from with a wide variety of choices in each category.

Busy Teacher (http://busyteacher.org/teaching_ideas_and_techniques/classroom-posters) offers over sixty free posters for teachers.